The Beatnik Vet-Post 1
I had a recurring thought A LOT when I first got out of the Marines. That main thought was “How can I figure out who I am, who am I?”. For what it’s worth I think I’m still trying to figure that out like a lot of other people. Whether you were in the military like me, or not.
Let me tell ya though, it’s been quite a journey. Only when starting my own business did I really start understanding myself and my wants. I’ve been out now for almost 6 years now and I have officially survived about 2 years more than that of the amount my contract was. That thought in itself is so surreal to me because - at least in the Marine Corps- your heart for it never dies. It’s part of what I think contributes to why it was so hard for me to “know who I am”, being that I literally made my whole entire identity about the Corps. Which-then- was not a bad thing, I think I was pretty motivated and made a good name for myself overall.
I’ll talk about that another time.
Getting out though made me realize HOW MUCH I really invested as a life style to be a Marine. I felt so lost when I got out, though it is talked about pretty heavy by vets and active duty about the “feeling lost thing”… it hits different once it’s actually happening to you. You start to understand the depths of how close you really hold your pride, confidence, and accomplishments of the past. They no longer “matter” once you’re out. Yeah there’s a few jobs that hold “veteran’s preference” but I learned pretty quick that no one cares as highly as it was conveyed when I was active duty- getting ready to get out.
I thought I was hotshit, and gonna get all the jobs wanting to hire me.
BOY WAS I LITERALLY WRONG ABOUT THE 200 JOB APPLICATIONS I SUBMITTED. I got a call back from one retail place. Definitely. Definitely a hard pill to swallow.
Moving forward through my time out, I have had over 20 jobs. Gone to school 4 different times, had a divorce, then lived in 4 different cities, got remarried, have some kids and pets. All of this within the 6 years I’ve been out. Talk about -till this past couple years- crazy and hectic, and unstable.
You could say I’m a “go big or go home” type of gal, or my Marine Corps Motivation took over. Orrr the “tired of feeling lost, i just want to love my life and live it” feeling. Either way. I didn’t think I would end up as a REAL business owner with a REAL BUSINESS. I always thought it was too hard and I always thought too hard on it.
Quickly, or maybe not so quickly, I learned that you just gotta enjoy what you do. Whether it is working a typical job or being an entrepreneur. I stopped denying myself and my gut feelings, quit questioning it.. and just went with it for once. Since working this business… I have been so much happier, stressed still, but stress is healthy and can contribute to the balance. I see myself everyday growing and changing into more of a professional that I thought I would ever be, at least since leaving active duty. Meaning like i was prideful to be a professional again. I take myself seriously. I handle it like a business owner does; with respect, purpose and drive.
I am so proud of myself for having the cajones to follow my heart while maintaining an open mind, and ACTUALLY accomplishing something important with creating something of importance. I have not gained my full-life purpose, but I unquestionably am doing what I’m supposed to in this moment. I trust that, time and the process. So...anyone who ends up buying my things, or getting with the B.U. Crew, it is A LOT MORE than just a purchase to me. It’s someone investing in something I care about and making a LEGITIMATE movement and difference with the donations every month. A consistent difference in numerous lives, THAT is my goal. I am privileged to say that this is the way I get to accomplish that, while alongside a community of goodhearted people that I have the privilege of gathering together in unity of kindness. I know it sounds cheesy, but I cannot hold back the truth in why I am doing this.
Thanks for all of your website visits, blog reads, and purchases. They really do make all the difference. <3
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I love you guys, thanks for being on this amazing journey with me!
~The Beatnik Vet